IC Inbox

[escapeartiste]

IC Inbox

[Spam Only - If Maelle wanted to talk to you, she would. Don't bother leaving messages.]

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[heyboss]

Better now.

Were you - ever yourself, during the flood?

[He moves a little closer so he can see her device.]

[escapeartiste]

They were as much me as I am.

[Her mouth twists to the side. She understands the question, but she's ignoring it. Maybe she shouldn't.]

Was I like this? No.

[heyboss]

[He's going to push it anyway.]

What were the differences?

[escapeartiste]

[She doesn't respond immediately and instead there's just an internal debate of how to explain.]

The one you spoke to

I got what I wanted.

Everything.

Besides being here, anyway.

Verso never pushed me out of the canvas. I could repaint Lumière. Everyone.

[A rasping sigh escapes as she shows her words.]

[heyboss]

And were you happy?

[He reads her words again and again and slides a hand in his pocket for the letter that she wrote him.]

[escapeartiste]

[It's an easy enough answer, she smiles just a little and nods.]

[heyboss]

Is that the sort of place you want to get to?

[He's very skeptical about that.]

[escapeartiste]

[She glances away, just a moment to stare at the stars. To her, the answer just seems obvious.]

Yeah, but

the canvas is gone. Papa would have destroyed it as soon as Verso pushed me out.

Especially if [She frowns a moment, reconsidering her wording.]

since it's probably what killed me.

I don't have anything to return to.

[heyboss]

[Sheehan doesn't say anything, reading her words but letting her type it out as she wants to. He won't push.]

[escapeartiste]

[She only decides to add something else after showing her initial response.]

What was different for you? You never mentioned.

[heyboss]

[He thinks about getting a cigarette, remembers their conversation, and decides against it.]

Only thing I can figure is....I decided to stay in the war instead of getting out.

[escapeartiste]

[She nods slowly.]

Wars can be difficult.

I guess it just made you violent? Or made you think you were violent.

But you weren't so bad. Around me, anyway.

[heyboss]

I nearly choked out Arthur when I woke up.

[He clears his throat.]

I'm not - it wasn't just potential.

[escapeartiste]

[She tilts her head thoughtfully.]

I guess if you woke up somewhere you didn't know, next to a person you didn't know

and given everything

I doubt he blames you for it.

But I don't think that makes a person violent. Just scared.

[heyboss]

Not everyone gets violent when frightened.

[He holds up his hands.]

And he didn't get into many fights while he was here because we kept him calm and contained. He was having headaches because he was having withdrawal from the medicines he was on.

[escapeartiste]

[The best she has to offer is a shrug. It's a bit beyond her.]

But you're okay?

No headaches?

[heyboss]

No headaches. I'm just fine.

[He tilts his head.]

I was - glad to see the letter from you.

[escapeartiste]

[A small 'oh'. That. She wondered when it was going to come up.]

Writing's easier sometimes, I guess. Just

not this kind.

[heyboss]

[He turns up to look at her with a smile.]

Do you want to talk about it? About the letter?

[escapeartiste]

[It wasn't really meant for talking but..]

We can.

I'm guessing you have questions.

[She'll try a smile when she offers the device this time.]

[heyboss]

[He doesn't really have one for her in return. He just stares across the void.]

'Reality is the nightmare none of us can escape.'

[He looks up.]

What did you mean by that?

[escapeartiste]

[She glances over, considering how to explain something she thinks is simple.]

It means

the nightmares follow everywhere.

Things that happened.

Whether I'm here, or Verso's canvas or anywhere, I guess. They're always there.

Even when I didn't remember I still

they were always there.

[heyboss]

[Another nod.]

And that feels inevitable. That you will always feel...afraid? Haunted?

WHOOPS wrong journal lol my b

[escapeartiste]

[That gets a shrug and a small sway while she keeps her balance on the railing. Haunted doesn't sound.. quite right in her mind. But maybe it is?]

I'm not scared. They're just

little reminders.

[She pauses typing. It's not fear? It's not fear. But what it is, she can't really pinpoint. It's the reason why she doesn't own any mirrors, and why she's hidden away whichever ones she did have. That's just as much the reason as the dreams that keep her awake. It's not fear, it's..

She stops thinking about it. It's not worth it.]

I was

kind of upset when I wrote that. Dreading it, I guess.

You shouldn't have told me.

No prob!

[heyboss]

[He notes all the places where the pauses happen, all the places where she seems to not have the right words.]

My job here is to push you, Maelle. To challenge you.