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[escapeartiste]

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[Spam Only - If Maelle wanted to talk to you, she would. Don't bother leaving messages.]

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[notthatkindoforion]

"I mean... I think there have been suicidal inmates before, who did graduate. And that kind of thing is generally treatable back home, so long as the person gets the right kind of help. But this is... I dunno. It feels like there's more going on." Tendi rubs her face, sighing.

"I'm not saying it can't be fixed. Or - you know - at least improved. I don't think he'd be here if it were hopeless, but I don't know what anyone could do that he wouldn't fight."

[escapeartiste]

Not hopeless is something. She can be grateful for that.

There is more going on, you aren't wrong but

it's complicated and it might not even help him to say anything. Maybe it needs to be him.

She can try. She has tried in some ways but Tendi's world seems starkly different than the canvas. Even explaining the canvas is a challenge. There's a rasped huff, probably meant to be a sigh as she thinks it over. It'd be so much easier to just show her but that's out of the realm of possibilities.

Dr. Sheehan said I should probably stay away. Tell him I'm here but don't

I'm not supposed to do anything. Maybe that's what everyone should be doing.

She doesn't like it, but nothing else is working.

[notthatkindoforion]

"But that feels-" Wrong. Against everything they're supposed to being doing here. Against her every instinct, too. How is she supposed to do nothing when someone is so obviously hurting?

"But.... I do trust Sheehan. Maybe I should talk to him about it. He probably understands these things better than I do." She's got Starfleet medical training, but so much of that is basically field medicine. Lots of focus on traumatic injuries, novel diseases, infection control, and a bit about recognizing psychological distress, but she was always meant to refer those cases to Dr. T'Ana or the ship counselor.

[escapeartiste]

She can see some of the struggle, if only because she is having the same one. But there's some relief that she doesn't have to justify what she was told, that at least Tendi trusts Sheehan enough that it doesn't fall on Maelle to vouch for an idea that does feel so very wrong and counterintuitive.

He might have said it as just something I'm supposed to do or

not do.

So

yeah, maybe talk to him? Maybe he'll have different advice for you than he did for me.

cw: mention of assisted suicide

[notthatkindoforion]

"Yeah, I'll check in with him first. Promise. I... probably won't tell Verso that, though."

She knows how much the man dislikes Sheehan. She still can't figure out why, but that's a problem for another time.

"...I was in a training simulation once where I was working with a Klingon patient who'd been paralyzed. He requested an honorable death at my hands, and I... couldn't do it. It was against all the medical ethics I'd been taught in Starfleet. But to a Klingon, a life where they can no longer seek glory in battle is worse than death, and I know that, too.

"Sorry. I guess I've just been thinking about that a lot, since this happened. About how what's right for me and my ethics, no matter how much I believe in them, could still hurt someone who... lives by different guiding principles, I guess. I still don't know if I could pass that test now. I don't know if there's a right answer, just... a choice both parties will have to live with, in the end."

[escapeartiste]

She nods to the first point. Tendi certainly has the right of it, telling Verso that backing off was Sheehan's idea would just make everything worse. His dislike for Sheehan, at least according to Maelle, is absolutely her fault. But like everything else, she can't do anything about it.

To the rest, she can't help but frown. What can she say to that? What's typed is lackluster.

Yeah. Live with.

An underestimated burden that she's keenly aware of.

[notthatkindoforion]

"Sorry, I'm just rambling now." Maelle doesn't need all that. But Tendi doesn't know what she does need. What any of them need, to make this better or more bearable or... something.

"If there's anything I can do, just tell me, okay?"

[escapeartiste]

There's a rough exhale but she nods to the offer given.

Thanks.

I'm grateful so many care even when

even as he's trying to push everyone away.

I know he'll be grateful for it. One day.

[notthatkindoforion]

"We wouldn't last very long here if we gave up the moment someone pushed back. And I know there's the deals and everything, but a lot of Wardens are here just because we genuinely want to help."

And it's not like they've lived perfect lives, either. Even Tendi remembers a time when she didn't have anyone at her back. She doesn't want anyone to feel that way.

"We just have to keep picking ourselves up, I guess. Someone has to get through to him eventually."

[escapeartiste]

Yeah, but I think he's the one who has to get through to him.

It might read a bit sassy, and maybe it is a little. But how else can it be explained? At least there's time. Lot's of time.

[notthatkindoforion]

"He'll probably need all the support he can get on the way there, if that is true. And... I really hope it is."

She wants to believe the best of him. She wants him to find some reason to keep going.

[escapeartiste]

She nods slowly in agreement with a slightly bittersweet smile.

Thanks

for checking on me and coming by.

It does mean a lot to her. She's not used to this.

[notthatkindoforion]

"Of course. I didn't come sooner only because I knew Sheehan was going to check in on you right after it happened."

She opens her arms to offer another hug.

"I'm here if you need me, okay? You can always call or come find me if you need to talk."

[escapeartiste]

Another nod for the offer and she easily accepts the hug. Only after does she have a little more to ask.

Do you think

Can you tell me what Dr. Sheehan says about Verso?

About what he wants you to do?

[notthatkindoforion]

"Of course, Maelle. I'll keep you up to date as much as I can."

Obviously if she's advised by Sheehan to keep something between the two of them, she'll have to respect that. But the girl deserves to know what's going on.

[escapeartiste]

She quickly types out a

Thanks.

And it's clear she's relieved. She knows there might be some things Tendi can't or won't tell her. But she still trusts Tendi to say whatever seems right to do so.

[notthatkindoforion]

"Of course." She just wishes she could do more.

She gives Maelle a strained smile as she waves her farewells and steps out of the cabin. One step at a time. All they can do is try their best.