IC Inbox

[escapeartiste]

IC Inbox

[Spam Only - If Maelle wanted to talk to you, she would. Don't bother leaving messages.]

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[de_nile]

[Steven gnaws his lip.

Alright. She's a kid, and he doesn't want to push-push, but how does he ask to see if she's depressed?]

Is it hard to enjoy things you normally would at the moment? I think that's supposed to be normal for stuff like this. Or is it just ... you can't find the thing that's got the feeling you're looking for?

[escapeartiste]

[She looks back at the shelves of books. There is no joy in this room right now. That's all she can figure out and it all gets expressed in a simple shrug and uncharacteristically apathetic shrug. Instead of wanting to explore she just feels lost. And she has no idea how to express that feeling in words right now.]

[de_nile]

[Okay. Right. She doesn't know, that's also pretty normal for teenagers. When Steven he was a teenager he had like, 11 brain cells and 6 of them were doing nothing but panicking about whether or not everybody hated him.]

Yeah. Can't quite get your mind off the other thing to enjoy anything else?

[escapeartiste]

[A smaller, quick nod.]

Something like that.

[Which is to say she would rather bury herself under 100 blankets than be out of her room right now. Her mind wants to mope and dwell but she's forcing herself outside. It's misery.]

[de_nile]

Have you - do you have anyone to talk to that isn't going to judge what you're feeling or try to tell you what to do? I don't actually know your warden yet, should really go meet them some time. I'm trying to meet a lot of people.

[escapeartiste]

[She gives another nod.]

I can talk to Gustave and Dr. Sheehan, I guess.

[The list is way bigger than that, she has so much support. But she still struggles to acknowledge what she has unless it's right in front of her.]

I'm okay.

[More fibbing.]

Why are you here? Were you looking for something?

[de_nile]

Looking for you.

[Being very honest! That might be uncomfortable! Sorry!]

Wanted to see if I could do anything. Dr. Sheehan's your warden?

[escapeartiste]

[More nodding.]

Me? You were looking for me? I

[She doesn't know what to do with that. It's not discomfort, but just a surprise.]

You were worried.

[She adds it to her words as a statement. She's slowly figuring out people like to worry, especially about her.]

[de_nile]

I wanted to do ... something. I felt terrible, and you'd been so kind to me. I talked to him, as well. Verso. Not sure I did anything helpful, but if I hadn't tried, I'd have felt awful just sitting there doing nothing...

[escapeartiste]

[She can understand that, the helplessness of it. She raises her lip with a nod.]

Thanks, for checking on me

and him.

He won't really appreciate it. But I do.

[de_nile]

Hard to appreciate anything when you're that sad, so it's alright, really.

Also hard to watch someone go through something and... feel like you can't reach them, wherever they've gone.

[There's a pressure in his chest he can't really explain. It feels like he's speaking from experience, but he knows he's not, not really.]

[escapeartiste]

Yeah, gone.

I know he's gone.

[She types that much but it doesn't really get offered to Steven. She's stuck crying at what she's written instead.]

[de_nile]

Oh no, god, Maelle. Are you alright if I hug you?

[hovering nervously but doesn't want to touch without permission!]

[escapeartiste]

[She hesitates because she doesn't really know you, Steven. But she's also very upset and she's trying so very hard not to push people away and hide so.. she gives a very small nod. She does need a hug, really, really badly. :( ]

[de_nile]

[WE DO NOT ALWAYS GET TO CHOOSE THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH WE ARE COMPELLED TO HUG A SAD CHILD.

Steven gathers her up in a hug, because he is seventy percent empathy and love by volume.]

S'okay.

[Quiet, but really sincere.]

[escapeartiste]

[What's the other 30%?

It takes her a long moment to recover even as the hug helps. She's trying to both just be sad but also trying not to be. It's such an awful mix. There's some sniffles and a wipe at her eye when she steps back.]

Thanks

[She'll type that much even while her vision is still a bit blurry from crying. More is typed after she wipes at her eye again.]

I'll be okay. Really.

It's just

hard to watch.

[de_nile]

[It's in the username.]

I know you will, yeah? You're awfully clever and resourceful. A lot more than I was at your age, that's for sure. If you think I'm a bit helpless now, should have seen me before I had to do my own taxes.

[This is him trying to be a little goofy to make things lighter. Oh, Maelle :c]

It's hard when -

[He doesn't think about what he's saying, just lets it come out before the walls he usually keeps around stuff like this can muffle it out.]

It's hard when they don't see that they're hurting you as well.

[escapeartiste]

[That was dumb, Steven. But she understands enough to crack the smallest of smiles. Even if it doesn't last.

She shrugs.]

He wasn't always like this.

He's changed since

we got here.

[Or maybe he's just being more honest? Maybe it was always like this and she just didn't see it? She can't tell anymore.]

[de_nile]

D'you and Gustave know why?

[It's just a very very gentle poke of a question, if she doesn't know or doesn't want to talk, that's okay.]

[escapeartiste]

[Her mouth leans to one side.]

Gustave didn't really meet him before we were here.

He died.

[In all honesty, she hasn't really thought about the answer though. She hasn't wanted to think about it.]

But no? I don't really know.

I guess it could be a lot of things.

[de_nile]

Oh my days. I'm so glad the Barge has got him, then?

[A second chance is never a bad thing.]

You don't need to tell me about it, but ... if you know the answer, or you know a few answers, you're ahead of everybody else trying to help him right now.

[escapeartiste]

[That's news to her. Good news. Other people are trying to help? And she didn't have to ask or beg them to try? It's a relief.]

Are they?

I had asked a few people to check on him or talk to him since we got here. But

it didn't really work.

[She's been worried for months.]

I didn't think others would try. It's

He's been kind of difficult to talk to. Even with me. We just fight every time.

[de_nile]

I know his temporary is, I talked to him the day it happened.

[Steven gnaws his lip, goes into his pocket for something to fidget with while he thinks. Pen? Sure.]

D'you remember who else you asked? S'alright if you don't, but maybe putting heads together is a thing that's got to happen at this point, specially on the Warden end of things.

[escapeartiste]

[She considers that, it's not quite as reassuring.]

I asked Tendi and

the others aren't here anymore.

He won't even talk to Dr. Sheehan. I think the only one he does is Gustave.

I didn't actually have to ask Gustave to talk to him. They just

started talking.

[Like normal people. Who knew.]

[de_nile]

[Ok. Ok. This is good stuff. Terrible things that've been weighing on you: better out than in. He fishes out his reading glasses, sticks them on his nose so he can start taking less time to read her messages.]

Can you tell me who Dr. Sheehan is?

[But Steven himself is wayyy behind on the situation, here. He'd assumed Sheehan was Maelle's warden, but maybe just a friend...?]